In social situations, most of us will feel shy or lack confidence as we worry about our performance and anxieties. When you worry about your lack of confidence you are self-focused and unable to pay attention to others. By shifting your focus to others you’ll be more socially competent and empathetic which also makes you more like-able. As we all want to feel appreciated and valued, to be recognised and acknowledged and to feel understood, if we offer those aspects to others (helping them to get what they want) we also receive this back. Other tips for social competence include: don’t criticise, avoid complaining, remember people’s names, ask questions and listen to the responses, admit when you’re wrong and give positive feedback as much as you can.