So, you’d think I would be feeling relieved… but I’m not.

As I meet people, usually whilst out walking the dogs, I share the great news: the doctoral thesis has been submitted! Mostly, people respond with the fact that I must have a great sense of relief… but I don't!

As much as rebuilding the business is exciting and offers new opportunities and directions, I also feel that I am still in limbo. I took this to my therapist (yes, I still have regular therapy!) and he helped me to see that in effect, I am experiencing a relationship break-up.

I was working on the thesis for a number of years and very intently over the last 2. This thesis has been a living breathing thing and the subject of most of my conversations with family and friends and now those conversations have stopped.

However its presence is still very much felt as I'm waiting to hear about the next step (i.e., viva) which is very much outside of my control. So yes, much like with a relationship break-down, I may not be intimate with the thesis any more but it still takes up a lot of my head space and it doesn't feel over because it isn't over yet!

I can't quite move on because I don't know when the viva will be or predict its outcome. And as much as I want to rebuild my business, this is also tempered as I do not wish to grow it too big because I still need to allow myself time and space to deal with any amendments that may come.

So yes, a limbo with a break-up that has not quite broken up!

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