Parenthood seems to have negative impact on romantic relationships, one theory being that having children can upset the power dynamic between the couple-one person has more freedom, choices, employment perhaps than the other which gives them greater power.  Bringing equality to the relationship, whether you are parents or not, is not about dividing up the household chores necessarily. A book (Couples Gender and Power by Carmen Knudson-Martin) suggests there are four emotional requirements for equality: Mutual vulnerability-where each person is willing to be open with the other; Atunement-where you each notice and respond to the needs of the other; Influence-where each is willing to accommodate and be changed by the other; shared relational responsibility-where each works towards the relationship, not just one of you.

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