What is embarrassment? Asks Kim, a Counsellor in Wrexham.

Have you ever done something that has left you red-faced with embarrassment? Have you ever not done something because you believed that you would get embarrassed? Embarrassment usually arises from fear- a fear of not being liked; a fear of looking stupid; a fear of looking different to others. When we are young fitting in with others is hugely important and takes up a lot of our time and effort. As we get older and mature, our confidence grows-we learn to trust our own instincts and judgement and so looking different or the risk of falling flat on our face becomes less a source of embarrassment. The reason this happens is that when we are young and feel we could ‘die of embarrassment’ those experiences enable us to become stronger and more resilient. So as we get older we experience those feelings of embarrassment as more uncomfortable rather than something we could ‘die’ from because we have learnt from our experiences that the severity of situation is never as bad as we believed it would be. Great to know that as we get older we don’t feel embarrassed as frequently or as intensely- but how does this help you now? Next time I will give you some tips on how to manage embarrassing situations.

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